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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?